Continual Fire (The Incarnate Series)

This is the third spoken word piece from The Incarnate Series. It is meant to present the birth of Christ in a context that postures the reader to look forward. To see that Christ, His Spirit, His movement, His story, will resonate for all eternity. That God dreamed of a day when humanity would once again be reconciled with Himself. That God moved as the catalyst to bring this dream into reality through the birth, death and resurrection of His Son. But to do so, cost Him. It didn't just cost Him His life, it cost Him his love... For God so loved us, He endured separation from His Son while upon the cross. That His Son so loved us, He is willing to pour out the days of His life for our good. But not just that - but that He so earnestly desired that we once again be free as we once were in the Garden, that He is willing to endure a love that will go unrequited so long as humanity walks this earth. He is willing to do so because, though His heart breaks for every soul that remains shattered, He rejoices with every heart that moves from stone back to flesh. For in this moment, they will receive life that endures. They will live even if they die... And so I wrote this from the perspective that we should remain postured forward, always moving towards the dream God realized in His Son because we are privileged to be a part of it if we so choose.

Continual Fire

Listen, can't you hear - There's a voice calling through the years,
Culminating in a moment to allay all fears,
The synergy of temporal with eternity,
A life given of divine community.
A reconciliation of God with humanity.
A reckoning, a convergence, a finality,
To days spent outside God's reality,
Which truly is a life of duplicity.
So tonight I close mine eyes beneath moonlit skies,
Hoping these moments are not a dream in disguise,
Cause inside me is a fire that burns continually,
Reminding me of the tragedy,
That is the history of humanity,
Showing me what I wish to no longer see,
The blackness of my soul, the essence of me.
But in this moment, with this decree,
The sky turned red over me,
A symphony of angels sings of Your glory,
Of a child born in infamy's story,
Because the Caesar feared Your birth,
As it will be like none other to walk the earth,
For not even death can hold Thee.
And though our lives remain but a breath,
Your life overcomes all, even death,
Granting a peace without cease.
And this peace you long to give those with whom you are pleased,
Knowing in their hearts it is well received.
This is Your promise and passion and mission
The Word of God generating vision,
And so with this life, with this vision,
The Word does testify.
He comes to purify, to glorify,
To penetrate and consecrate,
A world once thought lost,
Now redeemed, His life the cost
These are the moments I forget the deception,
Of the serpent with whom is found sin's inception.
Because I know in this instance,
God moves... closing the distance,
Between where my heart is and where His hope lies,
Releasing me from an eternity of slavery,
An indestructibile futility
Of a neverending pursuit of harmony,
Without a God to slay mine enemies.
And with but a word, He speaks what my heart denies,
That all I ever knew was limits and lies.
And with these words, with His heart,
Is the reconciliation of humanity,
To a God who longs only for them to be free...
Free from a life of sinful captivity.
To a place where we can never die,
In a relationship we can never leave,
Immersed in a love I can never deny.
It is the liberation of a mind in isolation,
Because in this imagination is a fascination,
Of a life inextricably intertwined,
Between the body, the soul and the mind
So we see His story is not an apparition, a tragedy,
But God's dream that is so costly,
With wings to speak of, with a way to be,
A dream of hope, a dream that's free,
A dream forever calling to me...

From Exclusion to Embrace

Stemmed from thoughts on theodicy (how can a good God exist with evil basically) after listening to some of Plotinus's musings on the philosophical problem of evil. Interesting stance from neo-platonism. Made me think of the nature of evil and how it might be more a matter of degrees than so much a black and white issue. How when we choose the lesser of two distinctions that is evil in a sense. Not that it is contrary to goodness because there are elements of goodness in the choice but more so that it leaves an unrealized potential which is evil in a sense (which in reality makes discerning that much harder, thus making it all the more important to be immersing yourself in God's heart - Ephesians 4:8) . Think of the parable of the talents. The man who buried his talent is called wicked, maybe even evil, because he did not exploit what was entrusted to him to its greatest extent. He didn't even try and that was wicked. So it is with life - we are entrusted with so many moments and relationships and blessings, that for us to merely bury them or hide them or just selfishly enjoy them without sharing, to not utilize them or attempt to improve them is evil. God calls us to more. He calls us to not just dream with Him but to move with Him in bringing those dreams into reality. That is somewhat my fear - what dreams are left merely in the imagination of God because I was too afraid, too lazy, too selfish or too whatever to actually move on them. Thus, the problem with evil is the problem with me.

From Exclusion to Embrace

Did you ever wonder how a good God could exist like this
with an evil that does persist
With what seems like more than any man can bare
Almost as if God isn't there or doesn't even care
I do every time I hurt or someone needlessly dies
Wondering where God is with so many questions and why's
As a reaction, we attempt to order or determine this life's flow
In doing so, we too often pretend we know
How the world works within God's design
Maybe the problem is that are so few moments in time,
To figure out this design and just shine,
So life exists within a restricted paradigm,
In which we try to keep God in line,
To help us understand all the ways,
We move from exclusion to embrace.
But before we actually understand,
Or attempt to determine a Divine plan,
We must first stir in the reflection,
Of how this world is fitted in imperfection,
That there exists an evil outside of us,
An evil that attempts to abide in all of us.
It's existence perplexes the best of us,
So we develop a paradigm like fortress,
Where we fool ourselves to thinking
Things are ok, never even blinking,
But realize, to leave it here is sinister,
Cause if you never wrestle, you'll never minister,
And so here the discussion begins
Not for the first time but again.
For something to exist, it must possess,
A set of determinacy that does confess,
It is part of a greater reality,
But in essence falls short of what it was meant to be
It is the fundamental differential
That is the incremental potential
That manifests itself in a matter of degrees
Where evil is always the lesser of these
Two distinctions that fight to testify
That it should be chosen as the other is a lie.
One of these will lead to unfettered satisfaction
The other - merely a distraction
Keeping us from knowing life, knowing Thee
As all things derive from Thee inherently.
So the question then becomes a bit ambiguous
Calling out to God something like this,
Is it a series of gradations
Where the perfect is Your salvation?
Taking a life of mere potentiality
Moving it into reality
Beyond the finite, beyond the duality,
Beyond the form, beyond the norm.
A common thread, This common dread
An inexplicable uncertainty
That just paralyzes me.
A fear that envelops every bit of me
The fear that I'll never realize what You have for me,
Never know Your divine legacy, only hypocrisy,
A modern day Cain - On my head the mark of disdain.
Forced to wanders this earth alone like a refugee
But I recount my days with Thee
Remembering You are the Invincible Principle,
The Penultimate Pinnacle
The First of All things, the Sovereign Creator,
With a breath brought about all meaning
With but a word called me into being
Thus it is here I confess all things
That You are my bloody Messiah King
Realizing the problem with evil is the problem with me
It is the eternal question of theodicy
Does our God suffer with us or let us be?
Will we cast onto the wind our sorrows,
Or revisit them in infinite tomorrows?
Forgetting how God forgave, how God gave,
His One and only Son at the cross to save,
My shattered soul for eternity
Despite the contemporary thinking of modernity.
That there is no reprieve,
No solace, no reason to believe
But they fail to see the rebellion of the free
The blood of the righteous hanging on the tree
A sacrifice that forever changed the course of history
A blood drenched landscape that is the gift of the free

Love Like A Whisper

Love Like A Whisper

I can hear it this night,
Your words on my heart,
Declaring itself love tonight.
It promises a truth, an honesty,
That will write its story,
On the hearts of all those it encounters,
Bringing with it a movement, a quickness,
That will illumniate the darkness,
With sacrifice, remove the sickness.
And so... it will be called love.
An infinite, endless love.
This love like a revolution,
A revolution of whispers.
A love calling for dissolution,
To the notion of self above others.
Resulting in the death of an identity,
That exists separate and alone,
With no hope, only futility.
Only separation from true life,
Found in love's community.
And so it is,
This love like a whisper,
A revolution of hearts,
Moving us to the center.
No longer in the shadow,
But bringing us all together.
And with this great canticle
We'll sing this anthem to our God,
"We are coming home to Thee,
For You have set us free."

A Soul's Recompense

A Soul's Recompense

Today is the day I must confess,
That in yesterday's mourning I did reposess,
A life never meant to be mine,
A heart thought gone from time.
But here I am, such a mess,
A heart in utter distress,
Stranded with today, so meaningless,
Here my soul seeks to recompense,
The Almighty's steadfastness.
A way from the hopelessness,
That I find in all the world ascribes,
Hope and glory in a deceitful diatribe.
If I only understood Your majesty,
Taste reprieve from my heart's tragedy
Then this moment would not conquer me,
Serenity no longer a fantasy.
And I could live with Thee, triumphantly,
In all the days that are to come,
Our spirits intertwined as one,
Awakening a dream thought undone,
Consumed by a fire on the run,
No longer imprisoned by false truth,
Choices of an ill-spent youth,
A generation lost to the veneration,
Of a soul's dissipation or degredation.
Because what they call solution,
Is truly just an illusion,
A complication and instigation,
Of a life comprised of only brokenness,
Simply less than all God meant for us.
So here we are God, broken & alone,
No heart to hold on to, no place is home.
No way to atone.
So here I am God, in the midst of this,
Knowing I must confess,
That I struggle to know if it's worth all this,
That I need Your strength in this,
Now it is my soul's recompense,
Confessing that You are my everything,
Conveying purpose for the living,
A divine treasure, never-ending pleasure,
A life eternal without measure.
Refreshing me with joy in the mourning,
Breaking me from this world's conforming,
It is here You release me from the weight of this,
A heart burdened by sin's inheritance,
A heart of stone now with innocence,
Becoming flesh despite all this.
Reminding me that as the dew is glistening,
You are ever watchful, ever listening,
To the prayers of the broken,
Moving on the truths You've spoken.
That You are a God who hears us as we cry,
Your heart breaking, forgiveness You won't deny...

Oh God, how I long for Your forgiveness, Your grace and mercy and loving kindness. Thank you, Oh Lord, for Your sacrifice. For Your love. For Your neverending pursuit of us. Thank you, for You are worthy.

Beyond the Boundaries...

Beyond the Boundaries...

I believe that Christ's death and resurrection,
Instigated a spiritual insurrection,
But if we limit ourselves to Scripture,
Will we miss the whole picture?
This is what the world wonders,
And in these moments, I ponder.
Understand I profess Yeshua at the center
This tale is not meant to be the words of a heretical dissenter,
Rather the liberation of a mind in isolation
Because in this imagination is a fascination,
Of a life inextricably intertwined,
Between the body, the soul and the mind
And so here I am and I dream...
Not because my mind is full of rhymes,
But my heart with a vision for the times.
This is my life, this is my light.
These words are God's gift to me tonight,
Thus, I pray my heart be contrite,
To foster this sacred space,
Where I might come to see His face.
So it is here I dream the dream of dreams,
Songs of beauty, whispering the means,
Of a life far beyond the boundaries,
That this world attempts to confide in me,
Because I know there is a future just waiting,
For me, to begin creating,
Shaping today, so tomorrow might look different,
Possibly reflecting the face of God within it.
So I challenge my people to look within,
Realize there's more beneath this skin.
For we are spirit in primal essence,
A picture of the Eternal, God within us.
Once you begin to see this reality,
The walls will fall, there will be no limit, no finality,
To the dreams you live while awake,
All the days of your life they overtake,
Cause there's only but a moment in time,
To live this life, till the days sublime...

A Lonely Night in Bangkok

A Lonely Night in Bangkok

Listen - can't you hear?
It's the sound of a solemn tear,
A heart breaking from fear,
Cause there's a whole generation missin'
Not the body but the spirit wishin'
That in this time and place it didn't exist,
Because there are men that couldn't resist,
The temptation of stealing beauty,
Desecrating someone for eternity.
So listen, as they tell their story through me...

There's a war of irreverent politics and policy,
That allows you not to look at me,
Not to see within me,
The dignity of humanity.
So there must be a call to fight.
A call to win.
A call to stand against the wind.
With our hands and feet inspire.
With our hearts desire,
To set all those free,
That live in captivity.
But first, what you must realize,
Is that behind these eyes,
Burns the hope of freedom,
A dream that has yet to come.
So when I sing this song,
I have faith the day will not be long,
That when my heart does call,
You will respond, crying freedom for all.
Leverage your position of influence,
That no one else might experience this.
I believe that when this day comes,
It will be my captor that runs,
And these feelings of dissonance will fade,
Replaced by the innocence you forced me to trade,
For the looks and lears of men passing by,
Asking if they could try as I wished that I might die,
But now you see! Now you know!
Tell everyone of this war that does grow.
Fight with me - let us unify,
And in one voice, with a freedom war cry,
We will in unity defy,
This peaceful genocide,
That might not kill the body,
But always steals the soul,
Confining what once ran wild,
The hope, the beauty, the imagination of a child.

So if you are anything like me,
Your heart will well up instinctively.
Your mind will race,
Dreaming of a day commonplace,
Where we will dance on the ashes of villains,
Of the wicked among us who are spillin'
Of those who chose to spend,
Their days between the funk and the fire,
Not helping others from the muck and myre,
Rather, they preyed on this world's purity,
Moving innocence to obscurity.
Forcing me to ask myself,
If for nothing else,
When my days come to an end,
When did I stand up? Who did I defend?

Awaken The Dawn

Awaken the Dawn

I hear this symphony awaken me
Pulling me, pushing me
A symphony of tragedy, a symphony of peril
A symphony of clarity
A thousand voices singing collectively
Telling me -
Carry my head this way
Don't let the night decide your day
So I hold fast in the hope I've found
Somewhere between the dust and the dark around
Where my God called to me
Telling me,
"Trust in Me -
I'll show you what this all means.
Life is not meant to be lived in dreams,
But these dreams are meant to be your life.
So watch how I build this empire
Watch how I awake the dawn.
Watch how the world will rise and fall
All this on My word's call.
Because I am the Sovereign Architect of the day,
Look to me and you will never lose your way.
Never be afraid to walk through the dark,
My love for you will be this perpetual spark,
That in your bones will light a fire burning
And in your heart will be a Spirit discerning,
Every step you need to take,
So you will know that I will never leave,
I will never walk away,
Despite how you might choose today
For I will be with you,
Even to the ends of the age."
These thoughts awaken me,
And as I rise,
These words envelop me
Covering me
With the blood of Thee
These thoughts take over me,
And like a vision or beautiful epiphany,
There is a moment of lucidity.
Breaking me from this world's conformity.
Now my heart will never be the same to any degree
And though this moment is fleeting
I swear, God,
I can feel Your heart beating,
Playing a rhythm so steadfast and repeating,
I get so lost in it I forget my own breathing,
It inspires movement in this heart so weary
It brings hope to these eyes, tired and bleary
And as I stand here,
Somewhere between fear and faith
I know that tomorrow cannot wait
So I take a deep breath understanding,
This may possibly be my last
And I pray,
Lord, please raise me up
For I do not want to be known
As the failure of a wasted life
Gone from autumn to the ash...

My Heart's Requiem...

yeah there are quite a few in this vein, but this is it. the last one. done.
________________________________________

My Heart's Requiem/Requiem for a Heart

Oh, carry my heart away,
Sing the requiem for the day,
That left me with nothing,
But a heart that's always waiting.
It seems I have a choice though,
But why won't I ever let go?
This place has broken me,
So many times it has shaken me
Like the ocean, it is consuming me
Taking my heart and my dreams
But I keep falling into
All the same feelings that hurt me
Now I have to abandon these
Conjure up a dream of a new place
Away from where the ocean meets the sand
Some distance from the memory of your hand in my hand
A new place, somewhere outside of misery
Where I can let go of these hopes and dreams
Some place where I don't have to care
Some place beyond this deep blue nothing
That just keeps chasing me
God, it hurts me not to care
To see my hope vanished in the air
My only thought, "How could this be?"
So I take a breath and remember when
This hope would carry me in
In to the next day, when,
Things used to be different then
It was once a dream of a crystal coastline
A dream that I could never forget
But now it's time to wake up
Move on with the shake up
I will never ever again know you that way
I will never again see the day,
Where I was your choice,
Your reason for smiling,
A name never far from your lips
Impressed upon your heart
Cause now I'm alone in here
How did I not know this would happen again?
Do you see the mark you left on my heart?
It left me such a mess the first time
And now, because of your choice
It has shown up here & I'm alone again
But now it's time for me to wake up
And wash away what I once called my own
Maybe forget all the things you said
Forget the love now dead
Abandon all the half-truths you ever spoke to me
Cause there's no more chances to be
What I'd always hoped and seen
The fire's gone out in my heart,
There is no more passion burning in these bones
Just a heart that's hurting, feeling so alone...

Secondhand Dreams

Secondhand Dreams

As I look around tonight
It's like the city's in slow motion
Appearing as if in a dream
And standing here alone
Everything seems to fade away
I guess I don't have much to offer here
Just a fleeting glimpse of hope
And these secondhand dreams
A brief moment in time
Where I'm hoping only to find
A heart moving faster than it seems,
Whispering my name.
But I am so foolish to believe
That when I wake up,
It'll be in your arms.
So please forget
Or possibly pretend
That my heart was ever even here
Cause reality is sinking in
And I need to walk away
From what will never be again
Or I will spend a lifetime waiting
For a day that will never come
A moment spent contemplating
How these dreams came undone
How you're never coming home to me
I guess it was all just an illusion
A vision of this broken heart's secondhand dreams
But before I take my leave
I want you to know
How much it is you mean to me
How I've never stopped loving you
Despite the situation or means
Cause the light in your eyes
Shines like a thousand graceful suns
It's just that now,
I have no words left to say
My heart has screamed your name
And is returning to me hollow
Like an echo calling back the same
With no form or substance
Not even a reason for its existence
All it seems to do, is resonate a cry
That reminds me of how I am empty inside
Left hollow by a love that has long since died
So my heart wonders - why is this happening to me?
All I ever wanted was a chance to love again
Don't you see
You meant everything to me...
For so long my heart held on tight
Not wanting to ever let you go
But the time is now here
I've let go of these adolescent dreams
And now my heart falls further and further
But babe, don't you worry
I promise
This hope was worth the fall
Cause I loved you most of all...

Empty Set

Empty Set

This sorrow that plagues me
This sorrow that holds me
Finds me in a moment of sincerity
Grappling with labored intensity
Wondering,
How does everything come out wrong?
My heart, my dreams, this song
All of it comes undone
Till we become this empty set
A brood of carnivores, a pack of wolves
Longing only to prey on the flesh
Of the sweet, sweet heart of those who give
Devouring each other night and day
Never needing to sleep
Because there are no dreams left in me
Only an empty set, an empty shell
And so here I remain
But only to justify
This existence that's come undone
A life contained but never defined
Smiled upon, praised even for the words I speak
Oh, please never speak my name again
Cause I'm now singled out for eternity
Held to the standard I've painted
But in my heart, I know this will never last
Lord please raise me up
For I do not want to be known
As the failure of a wasted life
Gone from autumn to the ash...

Already There

Already There

Do our lives even tell the truth?
I don't think they ever do.
All my heart wants is to be with You
But so often I walk closer to me.
And i wondered, how did i get this far?
Cause when I looked up,
I couldn't even see you.
Maybe I was never there,
Maybe I just looked the other way...
Luckily for me, there's a lifetime left to live,
Hoping that this life'll lead to the truth.
So I work up the courage to run to You
I'm so sure Your heart holds the truth
And for whatever it is worth,
My life will be Yours from this day to the end,
Never having to pretend,
That the answers are in my hands,
But in my heart,
I hear you calling my name from afar,
Just crying out, please come home
I so desperately want to make you whole...
So I wipe the tears from my eyes
And I look around, I am already there.
I am already there.

Henei ma tov umanaim
Shevet achim gam yachad
Sinei ma tov umanaim
Shevet achim gam yachad

(Behold how good and
How pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together
Behold how good and
How pleasant it is
For brothers to dwell together)

The Hills of Zion

The Hills of Zion

I hear the hills of Zion calling me.
Begging, please, let me set you free,
Walking amongst my meadows I wish you to be,
Always feeling the peace you long to see.

And out of the silence I hear the Spirit calling,
Grab ahold of me and I'll stop your falling.
My hearts aches for you to stop these wicked choices,
Always struggling to shake those same dark voices.

Behold, in the wilderness His Son is speaking,
Shouting, "It is me whom you are seeking."
"It is only I who can save,
My life for you I gave."

Now the Father speaks in a thunderous voice,
Under which, I hear a thousand angels rejoice.
My beloved child, look at the price I've paid.
My One and Only Son, at the cross I have laid.

Seeing that I'm shackled by my sin,
Walking a line that's so paper thin,
I pray, "Lord, break these chains that bind me
Because in the Hills of Zion I long to be."

No Hope For Tomorrow...

No Hope For Tomorrow...

I am the suffering. The one here waiting.
But there is no hope for tomorrow.
Only silver and cold and sorrow.

This thought, now my only possession,
Purely an obsession, of disenchanted dreams,
A broken heart still lacking the means,

To overcome these feelings that come rushing,
Taking the little hope left in my heart,
Turning black the skies all the days we're apart,

But, we'll be apart forever,
So I cannot stay here or it'll kill me in time
And there are no angels coming to find,

If my heart can stand on its own.
No love to save me from this reality,
Just a reckoning, a convergence of finality.

No day of the phoenix, rising from the ashes
No stars falling from the sky tonight
No hope for tomorrow or second sight.

I can remember a place that was so bright,
Now a place of disappointment where apathy outlasts
Any form of hope, trying to forget my past.

I never ever wanted this!
I just wanted to believe that my dreams.
Could take me from a life buried in flames.

So I attach my dreams to makeshift wings
Flying high above the sun
Attempting to catch a spirit, to be as one,

But this evening, as the sky turns red,
A longing to stay on the ground comes o'er me
It's hard to notice, this feeling grows slowly.

My eyes, now downward cast,
Staring only at the cracks in the dirt,
Seeing how they all lead to this heart that hurts.

A poisoned heart that won't walk away,
Wings that won't ride the wind today,
A lack of trust in my deeds this way.

So my only hope is that things are as You say.
Cause my arms are too weak to pull me up,
And this distance is too far to jump.

Though I suffer in silence, please come rescue me.
I don't know how long till my eyes dry out,
Or when my heart will finally wash me out.

That way, when the sun goes down tonight,
I don't have to say, there's no hope for tomorrow,
But rather a moment of reprieve from this sorrow.

Beneath the Skin

Beneath the Skin

My heart is a terrible liar
Trying to soothe me with childish lullabies
Hoping to bring me peace
But tonight, a song is not enough.
This time it calls for so much more.
Tonight is the night we examine ourselves.
Beneath this face, beneath this skin
Lay a heart breaking from within.
Haunted by a love now left behind
Daunted by a task I have yet to find
Hoping this will only get better in time
Tell me, are you happy where you are,
Away from me, wearing another scar?
Does your heart feel like it's going to suffocate?
Or do you find that you can only placate,
The desire to count the hours we're apart?
My heart does
So I decide to take a match to my past
Because if I burn my past to the ground,
It can no longer hang over me.
It no longer take hold of me.
And under this sky, we both lie,
I tell my heart, that I am done
But it tells me I have found one,
One that helps bring life and love
Calling Him as my Father's Son above.
This truth now strips away
What was but a fruitless day
Bringing me back to Your name
Jehovah Jireh, my Provider
My Lord, my true desire...

Between Two Faces

Between Two Faces

Between who we are
And who we want to be
Lie the two faces,
That the world knows as me
My eyes are now opened wide
But still, I struggle to see,
Which face is a lie.
Am I so far from home,
That I can't even bring myself to try?
All my hopes and dreams
Are nothing what I thought they were
Feeding a listless life
Feeling hollow to the core
This endless search for something more
Consumes all the daylight
Possibly so much more
Till there are no dreams left tonight
So this evening
Instead of dreaming
I work to reconcile what I see as two
Struggling to make them one,
Hopefully, before the night is through.
So every morning I pray to God,
Please take this life, make me one.
One with the Father,
One with the Son.
Let me never cease striving to be,
Unfettered, living for eternity.
Because inside, there is a tension
A struggle, killing me from within
And though I'd rather close my eyes,
Pretending it'll all pass me by,
I cannot accept this
I cannot live another lie...

Lord, just as You and the Father are one
So I long to be with You today
My heart a reflection of Yours
My life, a beacon of hope this day.

===============================

struggle...

A Broken Psalm

A Broken Psalm

We’ve been running out of fear for so long
It’s so hard to keep my head in this mess
Cause I’m about to drop my heart
And I’m afraid of coming up empty-handed
I’d be willing to set it all ablaze
Burn our past down to the ground
It’s time to take a stand,
Call for redemption
Maybe even begin again

Oh God, wake me up inside
Be a light unto my feet
Lead me on to victory
Whether I be in this relationship
Even whether I stay or go
Bring me closer to Your heart,
Closer to Your name, tell me everything
Give me another shot at this life
Change me from the inside

Maybe even begin again
Call for redemption
It’s time to take a stand
Burn our past down to the ground
I’d be willing to set it all blaze
And I’m afraid of coming up empty-handed
Cause I’m about to drop my heart
It’s so hard to keep my head in this mess
We’ve been running out of fear for so long…

Love and Understanding

Love and Understanding

Sometimes life feels so impossible
The only thing I can do is cling to You
I'm looking for love and understanding,
Clarity of thought to get through
What seems to be an insurmountable day.
Why don't I live like I'm dying for eternity
In the end, all these ambitions go with yesterday
So is it all for nothing?
Is it meaningless as Solomon says?
Apart from You, God, I know it is.
Still though, I wonder if there's a remedy
For all these wasted breaths
It's so frightening to know I'm free
But continue to wear these shackles
Jesus once threw off my feet
Only to put them on again and again
Thinking they provide a life less frightening
So I stand between the end and where we lie
Hoping only to capture at least a single dream
Not letting it break until the daylight catches me
Lighting up my soul with love & understanding
Where Your heart is closer than mine,
Inside my chest it's beating
Where Your breath gives life,
in my soul, I can feel You breathing...

Roots of My Dreams

Roots of My Dreams

In the cool grey of the morning
I wake
Thoughts of you still on my mind
Dreams lingering
From a lonely night behind
Not able to take all the wonders and why's

In the cool grey of the morning
I hope.
Hoping that today,
I won't break down.
Ushering in signs of new life,
New times,
New adventures with you around.

In the midst of the day,
I stop,
Beginning to think of you,
My heart stumbles.
Struggling to find the words,
Searching for your heart.

In the midst of the day,
I wait,
To hear of a moment,
Filled with new things
Of new days and,
New memories of us together.

In the midst of the day,
I wish.
For these dreams
To come from your heart.
To see it in your eyes, so precious.
With words spoken by your lips.

In the silence of the night,
I see,
The end of a day where,
I'm still looking for the touch of your hand.
Like an angel from heaven,
With dreams of our love.

In the silence of the night,
I hear,
Angels' voices singing.
Speaking your name.
Over and over again,
Over and over again.

In the silence of the night,
I hear,
The echo of your words,
Lingering on my heart.
Causing me,
To hold fast hope tonight.

In the silence of the night,
I fall,
Slipping beneath the sound,
Of one heart beating.
Reminding me of what I'm fighting for.
Two hearts united, rooted in dreams.

A Moment of Imperfect Clarity

A Moment of Imperfect Clarity

It's so hard, in these hours alone,
Not to let the silence take you from home
To distract yourself from all the imperfections
That are cast on the water as a reflection
Of what looks only to be a fractured life
Full of decisions that caused nothing but strife
Now, I try to remember that God promises a fulness unknown
But really, that's the hardest because,
It seems like when you finally see it, it's gone...
like lightning
Falling from the sky
You fall with it,
Letting out quite an unremarkable cry
And when you do finally hit the ground
Your ears go deaf from the sound
But not from the noise all around
From the scream within your soul that resounds
And your eyes, in kind,
Start going blind
From the tears that are wept unseen
Losing hope from the lies that make up
So many broken dreams
Tell me, what's the secret?
I promise, I can keep it...
Please. Don't make me fake it,
I know love can break it
Break the cycle of a shattered existence
Longing only to create some distance
Between a past that plagues me
And a place away from this insanity
A moment in time that does not conform me
To a world that wishes only to devour me
Away from a sanctuary with correct theology
But instead, I seek Your heart, Your serenity
Because,
Jah, in the end,
With You I find acceptance
A return to innocence
Lord God, You are my refuge, my solace,
The very reason for my existence...

The Alchemy Index

The Alchemy Index

Tell me are you free
Or has this deluge overtaken me?
This absolute depravity.
Is your heart marked with fear?
Is it marked with trembling?
Here I am God
Lift my soul
Let love saturate
Touch my heart
Touch my soul
I want to walk beneath the fear
That is pushing me, pushing in
Your love that never ends
Because You're alive, and
I am not alone!
You've called out my days,
I am known.
No longer will the dead stay that way
No longer will my soul scream
Just for a glimpse of the unseen
Your love is moving us from in between
So I cry out
This is my alchemy index
Changing my heart
From stone to flesh